.com Forum · Real Show Dogs

I work at a Doggy Day Care and I thought I'd share with you guys some of the more unusual things that my co-workers or I have said in the course of doing our jobs.

"Please stop humping your brother"
"What is my hand doing in your mouth"
"That is NOT a chicken leg"
"Tails are for wagging, not grabbing"
"Good greif! What's with all the humping today? I feel like I'm directing a porno over here."
"Do not bite my butt"
"Put something in your mouth and be quiet. NOT THAT!!"
"Stop pulling on her ears, she needs those."
"Put your penis away."
"Poop is not food!"
"Jack, off!" (we realized quickly that it needed to be "get off" but it really wasn't much better)
"Do not guard the vomit."
"Derp wrapped in fur."

In reference to an unlabeled bottle of clear liquid:

"What do you think? Water or vinegar?" "Drink it and find out."
"Could be Peroxide too." *shakes bottle and makes it foamy* "Well it ain't water." *opens bottle to sniff* "My allergies are too bad. You smell it" "I can't smell it either, here, you smell." "Odoban? Yeah, that's odoban." Manager who was watching whole exchange -"You could have just asked."

Some days are...interesting...

That is hilarious!!

I worked at a boarding kennel for three years- I can totally relate!!!

Working in the animal industry for nearly a decade - with 4 of those years working as a vet nurse (vet tech) I can TOTALLY understand!! :P

We have soooo many of those hilarious comments that people who don't work with us probably wouldn't understand :P

Some of the funnier ones that I can remember are:

"Hmmm, is that brown stain on my scrub top chocolate or poop?" ... Sniffs, Licks - "Yep - its chocolate!"

"How many different types of bodily fluid can get spilled on me today?"

"OMG I'm wearing more cat hair than a Persian!"

(After smelling poop) - "MAN - what do you EAT?!?!"

"Hmm ... your owners definitely give you corn don't they?"

"You'll lose a toe if you don't stop wriggling!"

"And thats what happens when you jump off the table"

(When a Chihuahua comes in for a nail trim) = "Who wants to trim the Land-Sharks claws?"

I could just go on forever lol

(bear in mind I could have typed so many more - but they are a bit inappropriate lol)

Brilliant thread !!

Love it wonderful thread, we all have days we just need to smile!

I'm pretty sure that I have to break up brother-humping at least weekly, and that's just with my own two!

Nothing to do with dogs but I've always thought this was a great statement

The sports commentator was commentating on that great British institution Cricket, and without thinking he announces to the listening radio audience

"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie"

LOL

Today's random phrases -

"Get your foot out of my bra"
"Stop shoving your balls under the fence"
"Remove your nose from there"

and a song bonus!

"Old MacDonald had a farm. EIEIO. And on his farm he had a boxer. EIEIO. With a bark bark here, and a bark bark there. BARK BARK BARK. BARK BARK BARK. BARKBARK BARKBARK BARK!

Two of my favorites are:

(When a Chihuahua comes in for a nail trim) = "Who wants to trim the Land-Sharks claws?"

I totally get this one! I had a BYB Chihuahua rescue that had the ability to suck her legs right into her body. She sold out though to small chunks of baloney. Suddenly nail trimming wasn't that bad.

and

"Derp wrapped in fur." - Gonna steal that one, modified to say "Derp wrapped in Skin".

In the 1990's I raised and showed Bull Terriers (English) and I can SO relate to just about all of these.

Thanks so much for the giggle, guys, I needed that!

HEF

quote

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posted by mournebrake
Nothing to do with dogs but I've always thought this was a great statement

The sports commentator was commentating on that great British institution Cricket, and without thinking he announces to the listening radio audience

"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie"

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ROFLBO! Now that one is a scream!

(edited for typo. I need a nail trim myself)

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Last edited by Street Wise Kennels on 6/13/2015 10:06:56 PM

Heard a couple of fun ones at work today.

"George was playing with Wyatt."
"Voluntarily?"
"No, it was out of self-defense."

and

Please don't wipe your nose on my bare arm.

Another funny one from work:

A dog came in on Tuesday after Easter and had consumed 2 x Cake Batter Mix packets (dry ingredients) as well as about 10-15 chocolate eggs and 2 chocolate bunnies.

We made the dog vomit using a special drug - and vomit he did! :P There was 3 of us helping to 'catch' the vomit using plastic kitty-litter trays so we could sift through it later to check he hadn't eaten anything else we were concerned about.

As we are all kneeling down watching this dog vomit up this brown chocolatie cake mess we all start looking at eachother and laughing .... because we all had the same thought at the same time! ... despite the fact that we were dealing with vomit .. it smelt AMAZEBALLS!!! :P Hahahaa - all that chocolatie goodness plus the cake mix just made it smell so amazing - we were all instantly hungry! :P

It was the grossest/funniest thing ever :P

(And NO - we did not eat it LOL) :P

I sometimes forget when I'm in public that not everyone shows dogs... Here are some quips/moments that have gotten strange looks at work, out to dinner, etc:


>"I don't like that judge... he grabs their balls really hard."

>"Sorry, I can't go for drinks after work... I have to go home and blow my dog." (this was my first day of a new job!)

>"Ugh, that handler is an asshole. I think he has more cotton in his hair than his shih tzu!"

>"Can this product be used on human hair? I like the volume it gives!"

>"Oh crap! I just spilled tea all over my pant leg! Someone find the dryer and blow me off really quick!"

>"When did you turn green? Is this a grass stain? Are you the incredible hulk? I'm not buying you purple shorts."

>"I know. It sucks when cold water touches your junk. But you're the one that decided to pee on yourself!"

>A: "That bitch is mean! And did you see her bite?"
B: "No, thank you! I don't want to get that close!"

quote

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posted by Dalkeith
Another funny one from work:

A dog came in on Tuesday after Easter and had consumed 2 x Cake Batter Mix packets (dry ingredients) as well as about 10-15 chocolate eggs and 2 chocolate bunnies.

We made the dog vomit using a special drug - and vomit he did! :P There was 3 of us helping to 'catch' the vomit using plastic kitty-litter trays so we could sift through it later to check he hadn't eaten anything else we were concerned about.

As we are all kneeling down watching this dog vomit up this brown chocolatie cake mess we all start looking at eachother and laughing .... because we all had the same thought at the same time! ... despite the fact that we were dealing with vomit .. it smelt AMAZEBALLS!!! :P Hahahaa - all that chocolatie goodness plus the cake mix just made it smell so amazing - we were all instantly hungry! :P

It was the grossest/funniest thing ever :P

(And NO - we did not eat it LOL) :P

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Love it! Perks of the job.

Time to revive this thread. Overheard this at work:

Why are you pawing my boobs? Those are not for you.

She was talking to a golden retriever.